January 2012
6 posts
IB IB IB IB IB IB IB screwed
“Do not let a moment go by that doesn’t remind you that your heart beats...”
– Anis Mojgani
The Cinnamon Peeler - Michael Ondaatje
If I were a cinnamon peeler
I would ride your bed
and leave the yellow bark dust
on your pillow.
Your breasts and shoulders would reek
you could never walk through markets
without the profession of my fingers
floating over you. The blind would
stumble certain of whom they approached
though you might bathe
under rain gutters, monsoon.
Here on the upper thigh
at this smooth pasture
neighbor to your...
School is crazy.
December 2011
3 posts
26th December
Merry belated Christmas! It’s two days till i leave the motherland and delve headfirst into finishing up last-minute work, baking for new year’s, buying all the belated birthday presents and generally just getting back to routine.
It’s been a crazy-ass two months from Dubai to Yunnan to Tanjore but, extremely rewarding as well. I can’t wait for 2012. I feel like it’s...
Day 2 in the motherland.
There’s something about being here that’s just slower and more earthy. I could literally follow the journey of a mosquito that lands on my skin and sucks my blood and then flies off very content because my blood is probably enriched with all the fantastic food.
I haven’t spent more than a week at home in SG this vacation and that’s so strange, although i’m planning...
November 2011
1 post
So 5th day into my fabulous vacation in Dubai (which is a gorgeous city) and I get the chicken pox.
My life officially sucks more than it already did.
October 2011
7 posts
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;...”
– Calvin Coolidge (via tyhodges)
This came at the best time.
Summer love. →
This quote makes me yearn and yearn
It's really what you make of it.
There’s this strange balance of emotions that’s created when I take in the immense tragedy that is characteristic of Jean Rhys’ Wide Sargasso Sea, and then lie on my bed under my comfy comfy sheets and know that my exams are over and the next morning I don’t have to worry about the work I have to do.
Strange balance of emotions is a strange phrase. Mixed up sounds too...
Vicious Cycle
I think when you go through the same thing time after time and it never gets you to anywhere new, eventually you’re bound to give up.
Each time I tell myself to rethink, to focus on the important things and I always go back to where I started.
All this time, there’s a fear that’s been holding me back. A selfish fear that if i break out of going round and round to the same...
3 tags
September 2011
5 posts
All the things to love about exam week.
1. Endless writing till your hands fall off, marvelous!
2. The one time in a year EVERYTHING you’ve learnt flies out the window, out of the country and into a random toilet bowl in the middle of the czech republic.
3. Wearing the official school uniform. The more uncomfortable you are, the better your grades. The winning formula.
4. Finishing before noon and realising you have the WHOLE...
Fury in the name of
There really is nothing special about me, I know that. But writing me off of not being able to get a 45 is really not in the spirit of People-Centeredness or Humility or Integrity or anything is it?
I don’t know, it’s like the universe is finding all these different ways to tell me how much I am a pathetic waste of space.
My calendar says for today, “Happiness comes from the...
Revu
REVU; a Paris-based online shop. Sooo exquisite, I really do love it!
Oh, if I had all the money in the world!
(via Miss Moss)
A letter
Dear Motivation,
I love surprises. I love them when they come in the mail, or knock on my door or call me at 2am and tell me all the reasons why I should do something and spontaneously take me on an adventure.
How about you be a little darling and surprise me too?
I could really use you in my life.
Love,
M xx
August 2011
7 posts
3 tags
Do you understand, perfectly, the weeknights?...
I.
The worst days were the ones when I could hear everything. The best, nothing. I spoke out loud when my heart jumped its start, and the sentences sent people’s faces contorted.
It is scary to think about, though. A blending of language. Something private. It was not the loss of language but something was lost.
We slotted maps in between our toes. The weathered geography of their...
He didn't like Chikus
So I was having dinner with my dad and grandma and we were talking about fruits and which ones were our favourites, and we talked about my grandpa and at one point my dad said, “He didn’t like Chikus”, in Tamil, of course, but in that very moment he looked and sounded JUST like my grandfather.
It’s funny how over the years my dad is beginning to look more and more like my...
Old Joy
And I realise now, that it wasn’t that tough and you’d have figured it all out if you only looked at me a little closer.
I worry about all the things that we miss because we don’t look close enough.
Lord knows that when I worry i delve into an undefined mess of ambiguity that takes forever for me to come out from.
And so i attempt to solve it by delving into books, and...
The rip tide
This is crazy, I haven’t been on here in months. I don’t think anything significant has happened, really, it’s been a whole series of months where I just went through the motions and complained everyday about the IB programme and worried and worried endlessly about my future.
But i would like to remember all this, some semblance of it at least.
So i must write here more. Must.
...
July 2011
2 posts
Strange Occurences
So Week 3 and I don’t get home any earlier than 11, everyday!
I never saw myself as the type who’d get bored with life or that life would become a chore, I still don’t - i just need to find something to believe in again!
June 2011
5 posts
Perfecto
Letters from Exile—II - Hemant Mohapatra
It’s snowing in New York
It wasn’t just the snow eating up the suburban baroque, or that you had just walked in, cold as a welldigger’s heart. It wasn’t the twilight leaving us with our loneliness, or the night unfreezing fireflies. It wasn’t you, with your elbows shored up on old sienna tables, nor me, keeling my way...
Thurs, June 16, 2011
Since we are, as usual, talking about you
I’d just like to say
Lots of things rhyme with you
But “me” isn’t one of them
May 2011
1 post
The exams are over and I am not quite done
Usually the end of exams marks happiness, right? HAHAHAHAHA joke.
Scoring a grand total of 1 Seven on all my subjects is not my idea of fun times, and imagine how my conservative traditionalist of a father would’ve taken the fact that my collective score for math and physics doesn’t even make a 7. (which i got for history, i must state because i am trying to convince myself i’m...
April 2011
9 posts
“Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your...”
– Audrey Hepburn (via circusfolk)
“There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but...”
– - Annie Proulx (Brokeback Mountain)
I have had a TERRIBLE day, and then today was not so terrible at all, in fact it was pretty good.
But i think I have cleared my consciousness, I have done what I needed in order to look back and say, “hey at least you tried,”
Sure i look like sort...
Rewatching Lion King must help, right?
I was already walking towards the yawning door,
towards the small, necessary sadnesses
of waking
- mikael de lara co
Above all, I just wish to express. And for someone to accept.
As everyday passes,
I realise there is nothing here for me anymore. This does not stem from a sense of superiority, that I am better than this situation, or this lifestyle. Just that, there is something missing. I kept trying to find things to fill the gap, people mostly, then food, then sleep. I’m still not sure what it is.
I catch glimpses of it sometimes though, the sheer delight when India won the cricket...
how it adds up - hemant mohapatra
what they don’t tell you is how it all ends. sure it was spring: volcanoes exploding in the opposite hemisphere. moon was igneous and adrift while they cheered your airship dreams of love and you felt soft and scared like a child lowered into a well or some balloon returning to a vast ocean....
March 2011
7 posts
All that bravery got us nowhere - Hemant Mohapatra
This unnatural hour that I have slept in still hungry from an unfinished early meal, you appear with your full body and voice and ask me to write again. I am sitting in a car, running late for my piano lesson, and you are leaning at the door, telling me the trees have stopped growing where you live. That you’ve walked across two continents but the moon still refuses to leave you. ** I hear you’ve...
Hum Apollo
I’m thinking of a number between everything and two and it’s molecules of you.
Other people's words -
When people walk out of our lives, we are usually left with these huge gaping holes we find ourselves desperately trying to fill, sometimes with anything — or anyone, for even just one night or a few months or some wasted years thinking that will fix it all and make it go away. But it never really does, because you can’t replace one with the other — it just doesn’t work like that. The only thing...