Vicious Cycle
I think when you go through the same thing time after time and it never gets you to anywhere new, eventually you’re bound to give up.
Each time I tell myself to rethink, to focus on the important things and I always go back to where I started.
All this time, there’s a fear that’s been holding me back. A selfish fear that if i break out of going round and round to the same places in a circle, i will be thrown into a scary situation with no sense of routine to act as structure.
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There’s a document on my desktop that’s been open for a few days now. I’ve read it, and re-read it and each time I try to remember what exactly I was feeling when I wrote it but I can’t seem to remember it exactly.
I’ve deleted it a few times, but it’s always in the trash, and knowing I can take it out of the trash is an option.
But there’s a fear that’s holding me back from clearing my trash. A selfish fear that if I throw the document out, I will be left with nothing else.
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Today, i’m clearing my trash and walking in a straight line.